I would like to congratulate all of you for making it into the new year alive and healthy. The last year may have left you physically, emotionally, psychologically and financially scathed. However, the beginning of the year is like the coming of spring after a long, dark, hard, callous spell of winter. It is an opportunity for you to start on a clean slate. Forget your past mistakes, embrace new opportunities, begin to love yourself, forgive those who have hurt you. Try out new things. Learn to love, live and laugh again.
2014 was a great year. Probably the best year of my life. Many wonderful experiences; I got recognition for my work, my cousin got married to a great guy, my sister got a better job, my brother started his last lap of law school and is now an associate at a reputable law firm. I am surely counting my blessings.
Here’s a recap of some of the monumental events in my life in 2014 for your viewing pleasure:
Now back to the gist of the story. As much as 2014 was a delectable, delightful serving of mostly blissful 12 months, it served up its fair share of a few uncouth male individuals who waltzed their way out of my life in a manner akin to a snake slithering away from an enemy.
This is how the drama featuring yours truly unfolded.
Mid last year, I met a young man of “charming” character. For the purpose of this post, I will call him “T.B”. He is handsome and interesting(if you’ve just met him). We had mutual friends and happened to occasionally bump into each other because we were both working on a particular task together. The first time he met me, he was very polite. He promptly asked how I was, and he seemed to take a genuine interest in my well-being. Fast forward to a few weeks later; he started texting, calling, and sending me messages on social media. Basically, he was hounding me. And no, it’s not what you think. He was not in love with me or interested in me romantically!(I still wouldn’t have dated him even if he was because we’re totally different people, I wasn’t interested in him that way and there was no way EVER that anything would have happened!). So T.B took it a notch higher. He kept track of my movements, showed up at places I went to with my girlfriends and proceeded to plead with me to give him a chance. All for what? He wanted to sleep with me. In his own words, and to paraphrase a text message he sent me; “His lust for me was overwhelming.”
Now, I was baffled beyond comprehension. My responses to his advances bordered on hostility and retaliatory confrontation. In his pea-sized brain, he could not fathom how a girl like me(with no means and stature in his own words) could reject him.He was raised in an affluent family, he’s 29 with a thriving business and he thinks it’s enough to sway any girl.(Well Mister, I got news for you. I am not just any girl. Material things do not captivate or enamor me like the rest of your past and current conquests!) I was dumbfounded. I asked him if he was not ashamed of himself for stalking a girl all in the name of getting her to his bed. I proceeded to let him know how disgusted and disappointed I felt. To add salt to injury, he is getting married in March. Yes, March 2015(about two months from now). I shuddered to think of what the poor girl he’s engaged to will have to endure in the course of their marriage if he’s already chasing every skirt he sees before he ties the knot. The worst antics were when he changed numbers and started using new mobile numbers to continue his torturous influx of inappropriate messages to my mobile number(I had blocked and black listed his other numbers). I told people close to us about what was going on and he was confronted about it. He hasn’t contacted me since. I think he was totally embarrassed that people had found out about his double life. He couldn’t fool them any more. The thin veil behind his facade had worn off!
I’ve known “S.T” since I was about 11 years old. We went to the same schools and were friends all through our childhood and into adult life. Obviously as friends, we met often for different excursions and we shared tons of mutual friends. So anyway, two months ago, S.T called and asked if we could meet up for lunch because it had been long since he’d last seen me. It’s always exciting to catch up with old friends. In my usual, trusting nature, I told him that it would be great to catch up.On the allotted day, S.T and I met at a restaurant in town that churns out some of my favourite oriental food. Like the fiercely independent girl that I am, I had the money to pay for my lunch in my wallet. However, when the bill was brought, S.T persistently insisted that instead of us going dutch, he would pay for the both of us. At his insistence, I budged and let him clear the bill. We said our adieus and I went back to my daily routine. A month later, S.T called again and said he was passing through my area code and that he would like to meet up for a cup of tea at a nearby restaurant. We met up and chatted and caught up on old times. This time, we both paid for what we’d ordered for. The tide of the story changed immensely a week after our second meeting. S.T called me and in a charged tone informed me that the first time he cleared the bill, it wasn’t for free. He expected me to “pay-in-kind”(You get the drift!). Now, if you’re faint-hearted like me, this tidal shock wave would have sent you right to your grave. I mean, here was someone I’d known almost my entire life shocking the living daylights out of me. Again, I was utterly speechless and dumbfounded. I could not believe someone expected me to “pay-in-kind” for a meal worth Uganda shillings 20,000 that he had so “chivalrously” INSISTED that he pay for. How cheap did he think I was? I was very insulted. So I got the equivalent of the money he’d paid at our first meeting and went to a Mobile Money place to have it wired to his mobile. I asked the Mobile Money attendant to include the inscription “Payment in kind” as the money sender’s message. I have henceforth deleted his mobile numbers, cut off all contact and I am avoiding him like the plague.
These two experiences topped my list of encounters with douche bags. I have come across quite a few but those two definitely took the crown. They made my 2014 memorable- for all the wrong reasons.
However, it was not all thorns going through these experiences. They taught me a lot about life, people and the value of maintaining my character and integrity in a world which doesn’t believe in character and integrity so much any more.
Hopefully, 2015 will have more pleasant learning experiences. And if you ever find yourself in the presence of a douche bag, run for your life. Do not wait to be ensnared in lies and shamelessness.